11 Signs You’re Not Spending Enough Time With Your Child


Do you know what your child likes or dislikes? Do they always run to their nanny or grandmother instead of you? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you should read on. Below are some of the signs that you’re not spending enough time with your child.

Tantrums/ Angry Outbursts

One of the major reasons for a child to throw tantrums is lack of attention from parents. Every child’s world is their parents so a parent’s encouragement, praise or approval is worth multiple times than that of anyone else. Think back to your childhood. Did you seek the approval of your parents? Do you still do that?

When parents fail to give attention or time to their children, it frustrates them a lot. This gives rise to angry outbursts as things are not going as per what they would like. Don’t we adults react the same way when things don’t go as per our plans?

When The Child Refuses To Listen

Is your child repeatedly and consistently not listening to you? When a parent doesn’t spend enough time with their child, a child might feel why should I listen to you. You never have time for me so put yourself in your child shoes. Wouldn’t you do the same if you were in their place. I would.

There could be other reasons why your child doesn’t listen to you.

You Don’t Know Your Child’s Likes And Dislikes

When parents spend more time with their children, they will know what their child’s likes and dislikes are. Example, I want my child to eat their lentils to make them eat healthily. But I haven’t spent much time with them so what I don’t know is that my child doesn’t like split pigeon pea (Tuvar Daal). If more time is spent with them, you would know that they like red lentils (Masoor Daal). My example makes sense for parents to spend time with their child and know what they like and dislike, whether they eat Tuvaar Daal or Masoor Daal. My purpose of making them eat healthy has been fulfilled.

Parents should know spending time together is beneficial to both parents and children.

Low Self-Esteem

This is one of the most important of all signs that you are not spending enough time with your child. This is one very big reason why every parent should spend time with their children because lack of attention is a prime reason for low self-esteem in children. This can have a major bearing on their mindset because we know that childhood issues can affect our adult lives later on in life.

Children whose parents spend less time would constantly look for approval from their parents. By not giving them the required attention, a child might feel they are not good enough or do not deserve to be with their parents. No parent wants their child to feel this way so spend enough time with your child and as much as you can.

Siblings Fighting

If a parent has more than one child, they have to spend time with each child individually. As hard as it is, it has to be done. Every child needs 1-to-1 attention from their parents and if parents fail to do so, would notice an increase in fights between their children. This could be due to my previous point of increased frustration in both children that they are not getting enough attention from their parents.

Showering Too Many Gifts

Are you showering too many gifts on your child to try and compensate for time not spent? It may feel you have done the right thing but really gifts and materialistic things cannot replace the warmth of a parent’s love so a parent can only express their love by spending enough time with their child. Children are very simple and pure in their thinking. They only want to be with their parents and get their love, attention and approval.

Your Child Asks For Their Nanny Or Grandmother All The Time

If you haven’t been spending enough time with your child, then it means they are probably spending more time with their grandparent or nanny – whoever is looking after your child in your absence.

That would of course be very hurtful to a parent but that is one of the signs that you have not been spending enough time with your child.

You Hear Your Child Tell Others You Don’t Have Time For Them

Children are vocal about their feelings. If you heard your child tell someone else that you are always at work or that you never have time for them, it is time to introspect and ask yourself is this true? And if it is, start spending more time with them and do something both you and your child love.

You Don’t Know Your Child’s Class Teacher Or Their Friends

I believe a parent who spends enough time with their child would know everything there is to know about their child. Who is their teacher at school? Who are their best friends? Every parent should know what is going on in their child’s life. A child’s life is centred around their home and school. School is the second home of a child.

Below are examples you are not spending enough time with your child.

  • You are surprised by the teacher’s feedback at the parent teaching meeting about your child’s behaviour or performance in the last test.
  • Your child doesn’t confide in you.
  • Your child doesn’t tell you their secrets or their worries or you come to know about it from someone else.

Your Child Is Not Sleeping Or Eating Enough

Parents are the best people to teach their children good habits. These habits include eating and sleeping and if this is not done, it can have a massive effect on a child’s mental and physical well being. Parents can establish routines for their children from a very young age (minimum age 3 months).

Playing Favoritism

Favouritism towards a child is one of the signs that you are not spending enough time with the unfavoured child. All children should be treated equally and loved by their parents as they are. The unfavoured child will naturally feel they are not getting enough attention from their parents so don’t allow this to happen. However, in some cases one child is weaker or disabled, it maybe immensely difficult for a parent to give time to the other child/children. But the other child also needs their parents! Don’t lose heart but treat this as an opportunity to make yourself a better parent.

Good Luck!